I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
