We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
