I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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