obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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