this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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