Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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