There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
