I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
