Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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