ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize