We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
