I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
