my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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