i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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