he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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