Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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