I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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