I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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