I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
