thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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