Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
