just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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