So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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