Whod you bang
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
