The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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