I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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