Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
