nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
