you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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