so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
