i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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