We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
