how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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