I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
