plz talk dirty to me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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