she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
