If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
