Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
What a dumb baby whore.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
