I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
