Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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