so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
