The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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