I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
being pregnant is like rehab
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
