We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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