I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize