the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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