Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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