Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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