you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
