It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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