hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
