so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
