Apparently you make a good broom.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
