Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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