Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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