Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
