I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
