do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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