Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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