Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
