just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
