I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
