How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
