Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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